Note: This was a dream I had. My subconscious might be a little creepy. I was told by friends that it was too sci-fi and weird not to write down, but you'll have to figure out the symbolism for yourself. In the dream, the last thought I had was "wake up, this is enough."
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I was led to a building that resembled a mall, but I sensed more of an encapsulated community-space - there were multiple floors and long corridors. Glass and emptiness as far as the eye could see. I saw my reflection. I was a man wearing all black. Looking around there were frozen, life-like shapes. The people that should have been bustling and chatting around me were still and lifeless, but they appeared to be at peace. I had no memory of how I had gotten here.
I lost my breath.
I was somewhere forbidden; somewhere I shouldn't have seen or known to be. This was the afterlife, but I was still alive.
I panicked. I had to get out. I wasn't ready to be stationary, stagnant, confined. I saw a girl near my age coming toward me from the stairway. I wasn't sure of who she was but she seemed familiar and I knew she needed my help if we were going to make it out and back to life. The floors were made of an opaque glass, as were the walls. She looked hurried and concerned. I could tell that she hadn't figured out where we were.
Instinctively we both knew that we couldn't go out the front door. It was a certain death. The only way out was up. Without speaking, we ran to the elevator. We could see the people dressed all in black outside of the building; they were becoming rattled and watchful. As the elevator continued up, my mind was blank. I had no ability to think ahead. I'd never felt this before. I was only able to deal with what was presenting itself at that moment.
The elevator doors opened. We were faced with more opaque glass walls. My only thought was to get to the outside of the building and climb, but I couldn't decide if we should go up or down. We broke a pane of glass with a marbled trash can and climbed out together. I took my eyes off of my friend only to plan my next step forward but when I looked back to my right, she was gone. She hadn't fallen. I would have heard or seen that. She had simply disappeared.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the glass, pleading with my mind to allow me to think of what I should do next.
I lost my breath.
I was no longer outside. I no longer felt my forehead leaning against the glass and I no longer heard or felt the whistling wind. When I opened my eyes, I was back on the ground floor, opaque glass walls, stirring people dressed all in black surrounding the building, still and lifeless human forms peacefully standing all around me. I began to search for my friend. I had to confirm that this place was what I thought it was. I began scanning faces and moved from floor to floor. Finally, there she was. I saw her motionless black hair. I saw her reflection in the window. She no longer looked restless or worried. She looked at peace.
I lost my breath. My throat felt like it fully closed this time. I felt the urge to cry but my brain couldn't place the proper reaction to the lump in my throat.
I didn't want to be here.
I knew I would have to fight and face the men waiting outside of the front doors. I turned and ran. I was confident that I could make it far enough at a fast enough pace that I could break free from them and from this place. I wasn't ready for this. Not yet. And maybe never.
I burst through the doors and bodies immediately began to fight me. I was pushing and clawing my way. I was only able to hold onto one thought. "Get away from the building." It seemed there were only 2 men, then 4, then 10. I was making ground. But then men were multiplying infinitely and I could only think, "You've lost. Give up. This will never end until you give up."
I was swallowed by a crowd of a 100 men dressed all in black.
***
I had a general feeling that could only be described of as at peace. I was surrounded by satisfied people. They were bustling and chatting. The building that we were in was made of opalescent glass floors and walls. Outside the sun was shining and the clouds floated by at a pace that signified it was a windy but clear day. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, I was just letting some time pass. I saw her face. Her black hair made me lose my breath. I had a clear memory of something unsettling. I remembered the still lives, the almost cardboard cutouts. I began walking faster, searching for the stillness but there was none. I realized, I was dead. I was in the afterlife. I was now one of them. I was supposed to be at peace. But I knew more than they did. I knew that this was just space where we were all trapped. I wanted to scream out, to tell them they were all being fooled. I tried to open my mouth but internally I felt the ability to think come back to my mind. As much as I didn't want to be here, I didn't have to ruin everyone else's peace. My friend with the black hair, she looked peaceful after all. If they knew though, maybe they would want something different. I decided to escape. If I could show them what was possible, maybe they would realize there was a choice to me made.
I walked down two flights of stairs and calmly walked out the front door. I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was coming to stop me, but it seemed as though no one had noticed that I was gone. This was my choice to make. The men dressed all in black were no longer outside of the building, no one was looking to fight me to go back in.
There was a weathered pine shack that was off in the distance. I felt that since it was the only thing I could see on the horizon that I should try to talk with anyone that might be there. When I neared the wooden shelter, I turned back to see the reflective glass structure that lay behind me, as I faced forward two large men dressed in black stepped out of the empty interior of the shed. There was no point in running. I knew how many like them were just inside. I might have smiled just as my jaw was being broken. I heard my teeth shatter, but I felt nothing. I saw blood, but I didn't scream or writhe in pain. The second man stepped toward me and pulled out a samurai sword. With one motion I was beheaded. My eyes, however, were still open and I could still see. I could see that my body was being taken away and my head was being placed into a Styrofoam container as though I was today's catch, fresh from the sea. As the lid was being fastened I had my last thought. "This is the final death. Instead of peace there is darkness here."
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